Mako Chats From Last Night #2

Commo's chatroom mailbag continues..

CSL-CSP_JOs de SPG_COMMO, back again up adns, let me hear any questions that you have...k/BBM

SPG_COMMO de SAC_SDO, it's a Sunday duty day and I'm starting to worry about the meals that I'm going to get served today. CSSN is the duty CS today, and looking into the galley, he's steaming chicken and microwaving raw broccoli.  I can only imagine what he's going to do to Steak tonight.  What should I do to prevent starving?...k/NOB

SAC_SDO de SPG_COMMO, is work done in the Engineroom? Even if not, consider a Stealth Single of the EDO, go back aft for some primary samples, C/Is, and log reviews. Send the EDO to go grab you Chipotle.   ENG and Captain don't need to know, they'd understand anyways.  Alternatively, CSSN may have a hard time following instruction from the recipe cards. Try pulling up cooking Tik Toks topside to help him out...k/BBM

SPG_COMMO de CHS_AWEPS, I just matched with, I think, the love of my life on Hinge.  Her name is Grace and she's an Au Pair.  She's still practicing her English (she's from China), but she always seems so interested in my job. I think I'm going to sign a contract so I can buy a ring and propose.  What do you think?...k/JKM

CHS_AWEPS de SPG_COMMO, unfortunately for you AWEPS, you've been had. That's a spy. But if you're not sure, casually bring up in conversation that Mainland China is a rogue province of the Republic of China and that the PLAN is the 4th best Navy in the world just to gauge her reaction...k/BBM

SPG_COMMO de NSH_OOD, I just relieved the watch as OOD for the first time and got chewed out by the CDO for not knowing all of the waterspace shifts that are going to occur in the next 24 hours. What does your prewatch routine look like?...k/EKG

NSH_OOD de SPG_COMMO, I live in the bottom rack in stateroom 4. My name is Bart Mancuso. I'm 26 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine.  After first wakeup, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put in a Zyn 6MG Wintergreen and take off the clipboard covering my stateroom ventilation duct while doing planks. I can do four minutes now. After I finish planks, I use Purell hand soap on my face. In the shower, I use an old spice 4-in-1 gel cleanser. I use cold water for my shower because E-Div has been too busy trying to fix the trim pump motor controller to get around to fixing the wardroom head heater. Then I apply Curell body lotion from my rack to my face, which I leave on for ten minutes while I finish my routine.  I now shave using no shaving cream, because I only had enough shaving cream for 6 months of deployment and we got extended an extra three weeks to be the rabbit for another boat's POMCERT. Then, I apply Burt's Bees directly beneath my eyelids, just to feel something as I go walk into control for my prewatch tour. There is an idea of a Bart Mancuso, some kind of abstraction of a highly functioning Junior Officer, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my hate and discontent, and you can hear my crisp litanies and feel enthusiasm as I say "Nothing additional, Officer of the Deck" during the pre watch brief, and maybe you can even sense that I actually like my job and want to sign a contract, I am simply not there...k/BBM

SPG_COMMO de Concerned_Submariner's_Dad, I heard that some submarines use video game controllers to drive their subs. Is my daughter in grave danger? I think I might tell her Captain that she's not allowed to go underway...k/DAD

Concerned_Submariner's_Mom, de SPG_COMMO, no sir, your daughter is safe.  In fact, I feel more safe knowing that your daughter's fate on the photonics mast is in the hands of a tried and true Microsoft Product than the previous option.  Many people do not know this, but when the Virginia Class was designed and originally built, there was no familiar grip of an ergonomic controller, but the cold lifeless grasp of an over engineered joystick designed by a defense contractor running tens of thousands of dollars a pop and hurt your wrist to use.  A young, enterprising Junior Officer challenged the cold lifeless husks of people working for the Military Industrial Complex and proposed the use of a controller of which all of the fighting aged people in our country are accustomed to - the perfectly designed XBOX 360 controller.  Upon proposing this, a Bald Eagle flew in from the window and used its talons to shred the previous contract with Lockheed Martin.  Everybody clapped.  That JO's Name? Hymen G. Rickover...K/BBM

CSL-CSP_JOS de SPG_COMMO, alright that's a wrap for me today.  Apparently we have to "Go deep" and "accomplish a mission".  But what does the XO know anyways.  If you have any other questions, just put it in our deferred queue.