SUBPARs 2024 New Years Resolutions

2023 was an exciting year for The Subpar Group and we’re thrilled to see what 2024 brings for the world’s top submarine humor blog. 

Since we know you didn’t do any of the resolutions from last year, we’re reposting  2023s resolutions and added one more for 2024.

1. Get qualified, if applicable

2. Remember to sign out of the bell log

3. Don’t lock out the EOOW computer

4. Learn what ALCCA stands for

5. Finally confess to your CO that you’re not signing a DH Contract

6. Only say, “SONAR, CONN Aye” if you’re actually paying attention

7. Wash your coveralls more than once a quarter 

8. Fill out the EOOW Relief Checklist even when the ORSE team isn’t onboard

9. Never request torque assist raised – you could use the workout

10. Don’t go to Club USA when you pull into Guam 

11. Stop leaving your binders in the Wardroom 

12. Don’t eat three meals more than once a week while underway

13. Pay your wardroom dues 

14. Route your CASUPs within 45 days*

    1. Don’t make the radiomen reset your MFOM password more than once a month

15. Identify a new root cause at every critique you attend

16. Close out all corrective actions from critiques from FY 20

17. Thank the cooks (even when the food is bad)

18. Prank XO at least twice a month, but NTE four times a month

19. Say “NO” when the FTs offer you nicotine

20. Don’t fail more than 2 CTEs in a row

21. Learn how to draw Trim and Drain 

22. Don’t sleep through drills 

23. Share The Subpar Group with your friends

24. Take a group picture with your wardroom while underway 

We look back at our underway pictures fondly and we’re glad we took as many as we did.  

*Note: a previous version of this article stated route your CASUPs within 30 days as required, but that just isn’t realistic.

The Subpar Group will be back after the New Year with some exciting announcements that we cannot wait to share!