Rickover Makes His First Public Speech

Rickover's first speech as a presidential candidate was recorded and transcribed by a SUBPAR reporter

The following article, written by The Subpar Group, was originally published on Admiral Rickover’s campaign website

ARLINGTON, VA. (SPG) – “Ladies, gentlemen, and esteemed senior-in-rate qualified operators, today marks a historic moment. Almost four decades after my departure from public life, I stand before you once more, ready to embark on a new and grand evolution—one that will reshape the course of our nation's future. I am here before you today to announce my candidacy for the Presidency of the United States of America.

Now, the circumstances of my return are unconventional, even extraordinary, but let me assure you, my commitment to serving this country remains unwavering.

My journey began – almost half a century ago – with a routine CNO medical availability. This previously scheduled maintenance period was meant to last mere months but stretched into decades due to a cascade of errors and oversights rivaled only by those plaguing the USS Boise.

Upon my restoration to service, I was horrified by this timeline, and I immediately convened a critique – and what this critique revealed shocked me to my reactor core. The root causes of these delays lay not within the shipyard itself, but are instead bound like the pages of a newly printed RPM directly into the spine of this once great and procedurally compliant nation.

I found systemic deficiencies everywhere. Everywhere were procedural lapses, informalities, and a lack of questioning attitude.

It became horrifyingly clear to me that the watchstanders operating and overseeing the propulsion of this great nation are no longer thinking ones and, in their complacency, have allowed us to drift outside of our operating bands. In short, ladies and gentlemen, the great core of our noble society sits on the precipice of brittle fracture. Without careful analysis, our society faces a double ended shaft shear of the principles that bind us together.

What happened? What should have happened?

Through many nights of toil I pondered these questions. Through an endless cycle of critique and re-critiquing, the path to return the nation to inviolate became clear. I must assign myself the most important corrective action of my career - to become president of the United States.

And my fellow Americans let me assure you that this corrective action has been firmly scheduled.

But make no mistake my fellow watchstanders, the deficiencies and low level of knowledge that plague our government are deeply embedded. It will take time, energy and will to expunge them. Expunge them not just from Washington, but from the crusty and oily Aux Sea Water Bays and Shaft Alleys of our great country.

Yes indeed, this nation needs a great spot check. And I am standing before you today humbly asking for your permission to lead one.

My fellow qualified and unqualified watchstanders, the flow path ahead will not be easy - beset with head loss - but together, we can rise to meet the challenges of our time. I am calling on all Americans, from senior in rate qualified Shutdown Reactor Operators, to Junior EOOWs, to the NUBiest NUB standing Messenger to join my watchteam.

Together, we can build a brighter, more prosperous future for all Americans, one rooted in the values of integrity, ownership, and the pursuit of criticality.

Thank you, and God bless you, God bless the naval nuclear reactor, and God bless these fully qualified United States of America.”