Dear Subpar Group - Submarine Sayings

Don't say these popular submarine sayings in the corporate world

Dear Subpar Group,

I recently started work at a Fortune 500 Company after getting out of the navy straight from my boat. Since I did not have a shore tour to assimilate back into society, I am still a little rough around the edges. I have already been disciplined twice at work for using totally acceptable phrases on the submarine that are apparently not okay in corporate America. 

Can you offer any assistance? 

Very Respectfully,

Submarine Talker

Dear Submarine Talker,

Submarine talk is a serious issue that affects many submariners when they leave the boat. We put a list of sayings together that are NOT acceptable for everyday use at your new job and a list of alternatives to use instead. 

V/R,

SPG

1. Reach around - A courtesy heads up before bringing a piece of information to someone higher than you.

Instead use - Heads up

Example: “Hey Sally, just wanted to give you a heads up before I brought this report to our boss.” 

2. Pre-lube - Telling someone something in private before you tell them in front of a large group. 

Instead use - First look

Example: “Hi Mark! Would you like to get a first look at this before I show everyone at the meeting?”

3. Flooding Buddy - 

Actually, never ever use this or anything like this in corporate America or anywhere ever again. Bury this thought deep down and never talk about it again except in therapy or at boat reunions when no spouses or kids are around. 

4. Went sad/Tapped - used (in a negative connotation) when somebody in severe mental distress seeks professional medical help.

Instead use - is taking care of their mental health issues and deciding to prioritize their own longevity and personal well-being over the needs of the watchbill/mostly meaningless project we’re working on today. 

Example: “In case anyone is wondering, Mike is not here today since he is taking care of his mental health issues and deciding to prioritize their own longevity and personal well-being over the needs of this mostly meaningless project we’re working on today.”

5. DINQ ass NUB - A Delinquent in Qualification ass Non Useful Body. Used to describe anybody who has not yet fully qualified all of their extensive required qualifications regardless of how new they are. 

Instead use - Person in Training

Example: “Has anyone seen the new Person in Training? I need their help.”

As a reminder, it is not socially acceptable to roast your colleagues out of nowhere on a daily basis. While that is a good way to obtain the respect of your fellow submariners, doing so is a quick way to be labeled as “abrasive” and “just kind of a dick” in your next performance evaluation.

/r,

SPG