Dear Subpar Group-Retention Survey

Mandatory survey for all hands

Dear Subpar Group,

I sent this retention survey out to all the boat’s XOs last month, but we only got two replies. Do you think you could post this to help us get more information? This would be a great help to the detailers.

Very Respectfully,

Guy who thought his shore tour as a detailer in Millington would be a lot cooler than it is

Dear guy who thought his shore tour as a detailer in Millington would be a lot cooler than it is,

We’d love to help.

TRIGGER WARNING

THE BELOW CONTENT CONTAINS MATERIAL THAT MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO DEPARTMENT HEADS/THOSE WHO SIGNED DEPARTMENT HEAD CONTRACTS

TRIGGER WARNING

                I (Person who signed a DH contract) acknowledge that continuing to read this article may make me very sad about my life choices. I (initial here) take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion.

Dear Submarine Officers,

Please fill out the below survey and return it to thesubpargroup@gmail.com

1.       Which of the following describes you best?

A)     1120 on shore tour

B)      1120 on the boat

C)      1170 on the boat

D)     1170 in the training pipeline

2.       Which of the following best describes your career intentions?

A)     I signed a Department Head Contract

B)      I intend to sign a Department Head Contract

C)      I intend to resign my commission because I hate my country and I don’t respect my CO

D)     I resigned my commission because I hate my country and I don’t respect my CO

3.       If you resigned from the navy which of the following best describes your current situation?

A)     I am unable to find a job and wish I signed a Department Head contract

B)      I make minimum wage since I have no skills and wish I signed a Department Head contract

C)      I miss the submarine and wish I signed a Department Head contract

D)     I am homeless and wish I signed a Department Head contract

4.       If you intend to sign a Department Head contract/already signed a Department Head contract which of the following best describes your reasons for doing so?

A)     My fiancé left me and I can’t find anything better to do with my life

B)      I don’t trust myself to find a job in the civilian sector

C)      I have four kids and can’t take a pay cut

D)     I actually really enjoy submarining

E)      My spouse made me

5.       Which of the following best describes your experience on the submarine?

A)     I had a really great time only sleeping four hours a night

B)      I had a really great time standing three section duty for years

C)      I had a really great time watching my Department Heads get yelled at by the CO

D)     I had a really bad time

E)      I love when oxygen percentage is low

Please email your results to thesubpargroup@gmail.com. A representative from PERS-42 will contact you shortly.