Dear Subpar Group,
Hello. I recently reported onboard the USS [REDACTED] and was immediately given the privilege of relieving as the CRA! Our first ORSE is coming up in six weeks and I am beyond excited to show the ORSE Board what my division is made of.
Any advice for doing a great job on my first ORSE? So far all LELT has told me was to sign whatever is put in front of me.
Very Respectfully,
ENS Good Intentions
Dear ENS Good Intentions,
The annual ORSE is a breeze as long as you’ve done everything you were supposed to be doing over the last 36 months. Don’t worry if you’ve only been the CRA for the past two months, the ORSE board totally understands and won’t hold you or your division accountable for what the previous division officer did or did not do.
The most important thing is that you try your hardest. The ORSE board is super understanding if you didn’t stick to the Audit and Surveillance Schedule your captain signed. ORSE is just about showing them you care. During the records review make sure you tell the JBM that you always ask your sailors how they are doing and that you bring them coffee twice a week. If the JBM doesn’t automatically give you an AA you should immediately go complain to the SBM.
Also remember that the LOK and records review portion is largely about asserting dominance and staying confident. Answer every one of their questions with your own questions. This will show them you are a thinking and confident watchstander.
We also put together some advice from other ORSE veterans to help you out.
/r,
SPG
Have you cleaned your division spaces lately? It’s only 5% but it's a big 5%! It is quite common for a JBM to say, “Wow this is the cleanest nucleonics I have ever seen! It totally makes up for the fact that primary chemistry has been out of spec for the last month!”
“The real ORSE is the friends you make along the way,” - CRA who got disqualified after ORSE.
“I mostly slept during ORSE,” - COMMO.
“The good thing is your CO will be forgiving if you fuck up ORSE. He will understand that it’s your first one” - unaccredited.
“Don’t just circle-x during drills or evolutions. Demonstrate your exceptional attention to detail by drawing perfect hexagons instead,” - ENG.
“Honestly ORSE just fucking sucks and that’s all there is to it. Everyone will freak out for the two weeks leading up to it…and then even more during the exam. You’ll all think you’re going to get a BAM and your life is over. But then you’ll get an average 40 and everyone will forget about it until 11 months later,” - recently qualified JO.
“You’re likely getting pulled in a lot of different directions between quals, watch, and divisional duties. It’s totally reasonable that you didn’t review every single ram tag” - your ORSE JBM probably.
“Your prefrontal cortex isn’t even developed until you’re 25 or qualified in submarines, so it makes sense that you don’t know how to properly review a survey map,” - other ORSE JBM.
“Set your A&S long-term goals to be an SBA or better on ORSE so your failing program is actually a success,” - CRA.
“If you set Nucleonics ablaze right before the first drill, you will get credit for the causality as a drill (so pre-game this one), and it will simplify your records review. Alternatively, if you don’t have that burning desire to be the next Casey Fury, you can contaminate your A&S binder so the ORSE members have to take catch controls when reviewing your program. Bonus points if you use this as a monitor for the month,” - ADM Rickover.
What’s the best (worst) ORSE advice you ever received? Let us know in the comment section below.
Don’t forget The Subpar Group is still accepting submissions for our essay contest.