BREAKING: Spineless Civilian wants you to ‘send him an email about that’

CUBICLE NEXT DOOR - Sources report that today at 10:30 am spineless GS7 Todd Blartson stopped by your desk asking you to “send him an email about the current tasking.” Mr. Blartson, who was high year tenured out of the navy as an YN2, asked for the email under the guise of “wanting to make sure [he] understands [the tasking] completely,” but sources close to Todd revealed to The Subpar Group that he asked for the email in order to shift all blame to you in the case something goes wrong.

Mr. Blartson took on his current role as Assistant Engineer for Higher Outcomes in Force Readiness and Training almost 15 years ago after a meritorious career in the navy consisting entirely of shore duty.  The many years leeching off the complex and enigmatic bureaucracy have made Mr. Blartson adept at avoiding any and all responsibility.

“Though most tasks are well within his assigned role, Todd basically won’t do anything unless you email him. He then prints out the email and stores it in a file with your name on it so the minute something goes wrong he can take the email to your boss and say, ‘you told me to do this’,” an unnamed source close to Mr. Blartson revealed to The Subpar Group on background. It is unclear if Mr. Blartson knows he is able to file emails within the basic Outlook client.

At press time sources reported that Mr. Blartson was attempting to tuck his considerable paunch into a pair of 511 tactical cargo pants, lazily rubbing a ketchup stain off his polo, and going out on his routine 2-hour lunch break.