Breaking News: Personnel Command Under Investigation Following Fraud Allegations
Retention numbers are down...again
Millington, TN – Department of Junior Officer Justice representative Justin West disclosed shocking details today about his investigation into Pers-42’s retention techniques, claiming the probe has uncovered evidence suggesting the Department Head (DH) detailers have falsified birth certificates and paternity tests to increase the number of Junior Officers (JOs) who sign DH contracts.
West received an anonymous tip in the spring of 2019 after year group 2015 fell 87% short of their retention goal. The whistleblower informed West that DH detailers would soon resort to never-before-seen measures to meet retention requirements.
The use of deception to trick JOs into signing contracts is not unheard of. Previous ruses include coercing a JO into signing a DH contract (since redacted) with a BAC of .18 during a port call in Japan and lying to JOs about the job market. However, falsified birth certificates are a new low.
Personnel Command leadership made it clear they did not authorize Operation Enduring Department Head.
“First off, I didn’t even know there was a retention problem,” said ADM Daniel Morgan, deflecting all responsibility. “If I did, I would have just recommend raising the bonus 5k a year.”
West is confident that The Junior Officer Justice Judiciary Committee will prove criminal action. DH detailers will soon have no choice but to become subject to strict sanctions and comply with JO demands prior to signing contracts.
“We are one step closer to 17 boats in San Diego and two crew fast attacks,” West concluded.